Uncle defends his 16-year-old nephew's inheritance after his former sister-in-law tries to spend the cash on her new family: ‘I told her the money was for Caden and Caden alone’

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  • "AITA for not giving my late brother's wife access to money meant for my nephew during an emergency?"

    My brother James was married to Elle for 10 years. They had one living child in that time, my nephew Caden (16).
  • Caden was only 5 when James died. Before he died James was awarded money for a lapse in medical care which cost him his life ultimately. James wanted the largest part to go to Caden
  • and when he was sorting his estate and final wishes he asked if I would become the caretaker of the money. He had it in a bank account but wanted to be 100% satisfied it would go to Caden alone.
  • He said it wasn't about Elle or how much he trusted her but she would remarry and he had no way of knowing if the man who came into their lives could be trusted. And since
  • he wouldn't get to see Caden grow up he wanted to secure some stability for Caden's future. I agreed and when he died he left me in charge of the bank account with the money. It wasn't put into a trust or anything like that. But only I have access to it.
  • Elle was understanding of everything at the time and we remained on good terms for a couple of years but then things soured a little. It was unrelated to the money but she had started
  • dating someone and when I met him I felt something was off about him. She saw it as me not wanting her to move on. But they broke and it turned out I was right. However the damage to the relationship was done. We were civil for Caden's sake after that.
  • Elle did remarry a few years ago. Her husband has children of his own and this is where the point of the post comes in.
  • One of Elle's stepchildren was involved in a near-fatal accident in December while with her maternal grandparents. Elle and her husband were trying to get to her, because she was out of the
  • country. and Elle contacted me to say she needed some of Caden's money so they could go there. She told me she wasn't sure how much in total she'd need by the time everything was sorted but
  • she knew there would be enough to cover everything and still leave Caden with money. I told her the money was for Caden and Caden alone and I wasn't giving her any of it. That I
  • was sorry for what they were going through but the money needed to come from somewhere else. I spoke to Caden the same day and he asked me not to give any of the money up if asked
  • again. He said he knew his mom was going to keep asking if they didn't get money from anywhere else. I promised Caden I'd keep the money safe. I was asked again a number of
  • times. Eventually the money did come from somewhere else. But Elle and her husband ended up taking on debt because of her stepdaughter's accident. And Elle is angry that I was sitting on a
  • large sum of money for Caden and wouldn't let her use any of it for a real emergency. She said it was the wrong decision and totally callous. AITA?
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  • ivydream4 NTA, this what was your brother anticipated and it came to pass. And Caden himself doesn't consent to it so NTA at all
  • Hot_Piz... NTA at all. Your brother was right about her. Your nephew lost his father for this money and it is his safe bank which will help him in future for studies and house purchase etc. he saw his wife's motives in future.
  • I hope you stay a loving uncle or aunt and never misuse money and secure his future. Sil is being selfish here. It is his money from her late husband for their kid. She can pay for step child from her one bank balance. If she doesn't have one. S ks for her
  • Tomorrow she divorce step father and money will be lost and your nephew would've been left with nothing! Neither a relationship nor money

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